Sometimes you get blindsided by somebody else’s actions. Something they say or something they do. And it seems to come from out of nowhere.
Their words chop you down and pierce you to the core, causing a wound that may take a while to heal.
So what do you do?
Hopefully, you have the presence of mind to take care of yourself first, taking full responsibility for your own well-being.
No running away, fighting, or resisting the pain.
The way you react is 100% on you.
Nobody else’s fault – and there’s no judgement.
It just IS the way it is… it’s the way YOU are – right now.
You take it in, and you let time and space process and heal it for you, allowing it to move and flow through your being, cleaning out whatever needs to be cleaned out along with the pain.
It helps tremendously to have some “Magic phrases” and a systematic way to think clearly for yourself in response to the blow. A way which is constructive rather than destructive.
My ‘3 Magic Phrases’ (there are now 8 of them, as this practice has evolved over the years):
1. I am free (to be myself, to feel, to have this experience of myself being me, right now)
2. I don’t have to do anything (right now… to be myself)
3. I have time… and space (to have this experience, right now)
The central practice that I teach is something called “Constructive Thinking”, and it is in the form of a question. This specific way of thinking orients the mind towards what is good, positive, and actively easing. It shifts your mind towards ease, wonder and fresh thinking, instead of unhelpful habits and everything old and stale. It’s based on Primal Alexander™, hands-free Alexander Technique, as created by Mio Morales.
“Where else do I seem to be easing a bit?”
And it works.
I put all of this into practice today, because this is exactly what happened to me this morning.
I’m still working through it.
As if from a distance, I am simultaneously intimate with all of it. Every feeling, thought, and movement… with as much of my being as I am able to allow in the moment.
I let the feelings move and change, and I know this is allowing me to grow.
Not only is this process allowing me to transform into a larger, “better” version of myself – as I become more fully who I already am…
…but it is allowing a better Artist to emerge, as well.
This is the essence of artistry: to be true to oneself in the moment while expressing the beautiful Truth with as much honesty and goodness as possible.
From having had the experience of overcoming such things myself countless times over many years, I continue to do my utmost to practice what I preach – because it helps.
My work is all about realizing my freedom to be who I am from moment to moment, allowing myself the freedom to express this and share who I am with others, whether through speech, writing, or music…
…thereby inspiring others to realize their own freedom to be and share who they are, in turn.
This is what I wish for you.
I thank you for witnessing my process today.
This is the kind of healing and empowering teaching I offer my private coaching clients. If you would like to learn more about how you can make the most of unexpected events that throw you off balance, feel free to reach out to me. I believe I have a solution for you that can’t be beat.