One of the most fascinating moments I've witnessed in a private coaching session happened before a single note had been played. ✨

I was guiding an oboist through some MindFlow™ practice, imagining a passage entirely in her mind without touching the instrument.

Everything was already going beautifully. Her attention was spacious, her imagination vivid, and she wasn't trying to make anything happen. She was simply allowing the music to unfold inwardly.

Then I asked her to look at the score while continuing to imagine herself playing.

Almost immediately, I sensed something change. The music was still there, but it no longer had quite the same freedom.

So I stopped her. “What just happened?”

She sat quietly for a moment before smiling. “I had this thought,” she said. “Oh… THIS is what it's supposed to feel like! This is working!”

We both laughed, because we immediately recognized what had happened.

Only a moment before, she'd been completely immersed in the experience. Then, without realizing it, she'd subtly stepped out of what I call ‘Learner Mode' and into ‘Judger Mode'.

Learner Mode is curious. It receives information. It stays with the experience itself.

Judger Mode immediately begins evaluating: This is working. I've got it. Or… That wasn't very good. I'm losing it.

The fascinating part is that nothing had actually gone wrong. In fact, everything was going wonderfully right.

And yet that one innocent, evaluative thought in her head was enough to interrupt the flow.

I think this surprises many musicians. We tend to assume that what pulls us out of the present is anxiety, self-doubt, or fear of making mistakes.

Those certainly can. But I've found that we can leave the present just as easily by congratulating ourselves or becoming pleased when everything is finally going well.

The moment we begin commenting on our experience, we're no longer fully inhabiting it.

A little later in the lesson, another beautiful example appeared.

One of Poulenc's glorious harmonic resolutions moved her deeply, and she found herself wanting to linger there, almost as though she wanted to hold onto the feeling for just a little longer.

I smiled and said, “Yes! The emotion is beautiful. Let yourself feel every bit of it. But notice that the music isn't asking you to hold onto or keep that moment for yoursefl. It's inviting you to let it flow through you… and organically into the next phrase.” 🎶

I've come to believe that this is true of so much more than music.

Whether it's a beautiful phrase, a perfect sunset, a wonderful conversation, or one of those rare moments when everything simply feels right, our first impulse is often to stop and say, ‘Oh, this is it!'

And that's the very moment we step outside the experience.

Perhaps one of the deepest forms of freedom is learning to keep coming back to Learner Mode once we've left it—to be curious, present, and receptive, allowing both music and life to keep unfolding, one beautiful moment after another. 💛

If reading this spoke to you, I'd love to help you experience it for yourself.

I have one opening left for a new private coaching student beginning in July. We'll start exactly where you are and gradually cultivate the quality of your attention, the freedom of your whole self, and the kind of artistry that emerges naturally when you stop interfering with it.

If this feels like the right next step, send me a message. I'd love to have a conversation with you! 🌿

Joyfully,
Jennifer