I've been doing a lot of deep work with myself, my violin, and the Alexander Technique when I practice these days.

I'm discovering anew that making real, fundamental change can be scary, because it means confronting the Unknown and experiencing the feeling out of being control, and meeting aspects of myself I'd rather not look at because I don't like them!

In this video, I'm giving myself time to experiment with sticking to AT principles while lifting the bow and practicing the opening of Don Juan. Practicing in this way is very confronting, and I find myself face-to-face immediately with my inner critic.

The only way to quiet this critic is, surprisingly, to COMPLETELY IGNORE the fact that I'm playing the violin, and direct my thinking to my Alexander Technique thoughts with vigilance! Not easy to do, this will require a lot of practice, bit by bit, over time.

It's also scary because it feels like I don't know how to play the violin anymore, and it sounds terrible to me – even though it's not so bad when I listen to the recording later.

I will continue on with this self-disciplining practice because I KNOW that I am improving in this way. But what an adventure…self-knowledge and transformation requires COURAGE…it's not for the faint of heart!!

Thankfully, artists are BRAVE!

And… I have all the time in the world. 🙂

Your comments are welcome, as always.

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