F.M. Alexander wrote: “Mine is a method for the control of human reaction.”
This seems to be the topic of the week, for myself and my students. It seems that we could all benefit greatly from learning to have better control over our reactions. 
These are magic words: “I am not reacting.” Practiced frequently and in response to a great variety of situations – positive, negative, or neutral – we can get better at accessing this thought when our stress levels are high, so that we can prevent our habitual unhelpful reactions.
Everything is a stimulus. Everything is a potential trigger for us to react – other people’s behavior, the thoughts we have, our internal feelings, the temperature, sounds, smells, etc.
What I want is to be able to be aware of both my surroundings and my inner self in such a way that I am not caught off-guard into falling into a habitual reaction that creates unhealthy tension in myself and adds potential stress for those around me.
I believe that our job is to remain open to receive whatever information is being transmitted to us by a stimulus; to let our system process that information; and to continue directing ourselves with constructive, conscious self-control, so that our response to the stimulus will be natural, positive, and entirely appropriate in a global way — as opposed to reactive, habitual, unbalanced, uncoordinated, and short-sighted.
But not reacting to triggers is so hard! (says the ‘old me’)
How can I stop??
I want to be prepared. Ready for anything. Open, and expecting the unexpected.
If I am tense, I am not completely open. If I am open, I am flexible and ready to respond spontaneously and naturally to stimuli in a healthy, free way.
Here’s a new way to practice not reacting. Think:
“I am free.
I am open.
I am not reacting.”
A stimulus occurs…. (loud sound, beautiful vision, crying baby, strange smell, grumbling belly, sharp pain…)
“I am not reacting.
I am noticing any changes which have occurred, within and without.
I am free.
I am open.”
How interesting! (Open-minded curiosity is a key!)
Perhaps at one moment I have a natural startle (fight-flight-freeze) reaction, which comes from the uncertainty about whether the stimulus is an actual threat or not. This startle reaction then becomes a new internal stimulus. Everything is always changing! Expect change!
“I am not reacting.
I am noticing any changes which have occurred, within and without.
I am free.
I am open.”
How interesting!
“I am free.
My neck is free.
My breath is free.”
Repeat.
Practice in this way, as much as possible.
“I’m reading words. How interesting! I’m not reacting. I am free and open. My neck is free, my breath is free.
“I feel a bit of pain.
How interesting! I’m not reacting. I am free and open. My neck is free, my breath is free.
“I have work to do.
How interesting! I’m not reacting. I am free and open. My neck is free, my breath is free.
“I don’t like the weather today. (OR, I like the weather today.)
How interesting! I’m not reacting. I am free and open. My neck is free, my breath is free.
“So-and-so is really annoying me these days.
How interesting! I’m not reacting. I am free and open. My neck is free, my breath is free.
“I feel sad (or happy, or angry, or numb, or whatever).
How interesting! I’m not reacting. I am free and open. My neck is free, my breath is free.”
The possibilities to practice non-reactivity are endless.
The more I practice, the better I get at it, and the more centered, balanced, and I am. And the happier I am, too – in a deep way – even if I might not be feeling particularly happy on the outside in one moment because of circumstances.
Try it out, and see what happens over time. You’ll see that it gets easier and progress can be made. Have fun!
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Jennifer! I am grappling with this issue right now as an AT trainee. Just the fact of reading this post this morning allowed me to let go of some reactive thinking I had been holding on to! Thank you!
I’m so glad you found it helpful, Rena! AT training certainly IS challenging, isn’t it? Those three years were some of the best and hardest of my life. All power to you as you move forward and up with it!
Thank you for this delightful and practical blog!
I learned early not to react to outside noises, smells, sights when practicing in a not-sound-proofed practice room surrounded by 15 other identical practice rooms, most equipped with a grand piano (several with small pipe organs). It’s totally amazing how you can learn to concentrate on what you’re doing and to “blot out” all other noises. I learned how to ignore pain when I had no organ sub, so had to come back from a severe fall which damaged hands and knees without a vacation (had a great hand doctor who case each finger separately in playing position). I wish I had read your blog 65 years ago; it would have made practicing easier, I’m sure. As it is. . . . someone came into the church one day last week (I didn’t hear him), walked up the aisle (still didn’t hear him), called my name (I was oblivious), then tapped me on the shoulder — now there’s a hole in the ceiling about the organ bench.