In honor of Valentine’s Day this coming Friday, I thought I’d write a post about Love and musicians. I’m convinced that musicians can become better lovers (in every sense, including sexual) simply by becoming better musicians and seeing the unity between the two things. Heartfelt music-making is an act of Love!
I’m sure there are a million definitions we could come up with for what makes a “good lover”, but here are just a few qualities that come to mind:
- being open to enjoyment – sensuality
- sensitivity, both physical and emotional
- spontaneity, flexibility, and creativity
- living in the present moment with mindfulness
- a sense of wonder, open to the mystery of the unknown and unexpected
- a sense of gratitude and generosity
- a willingness to be vulnerable and to freely share one’s experience from the heart
- responsiveness to the environment and the “other”, with deep listening-awareness, empathy, and respect
- a willingness to move and be moved by Love (or Spirit, God, Self, Nature, Consciousness, etc. – whatever you choose to call That which supports life, positivity, and goodness)
- a willingness to let go of fear and a deep well of trust – in oneself, in the “other”, and in Love
- awareness of deep meaning, and sense of expansive spaciousness
- a good sense of rhythm and timing, and good/appropriate use of physical and mental tension/tone
- ability to access and express a wide range of feelings and emotions with differing intensities
Now, read the above list again (which is by no means exhaustive!), but this time see it as a list of the best qualities of a great musician. Replace “other” with audience, colleagues, or your instrument….see where I’m going with this?
So, how do you cultivate these qualities, to become both a better musician and lover of life?
First, have a clear wish to develop these qualities (what motivates you strongly?). Then, choose to stop whatever you’re doing that interferes with them (you can go through the list and create your own list of opposites if that helps), aim for and live up to what you want by having a very clear intention, and PRACTICE the things on the list! All the time – as much as possible! If you do these things, you can’t go wrong. It’s foolproof!
But…how to practice, specifically? There are many ways, and this is what I teach with The Art of Freedom, where you learn how to stop and re-direct your thinking to get the results you want. I have all sorts of other practical tricks up my sleeve for how to become a better musician and lover at the same time, but I’ll leave that for another time!
I’ll leave you with one more thought, though. Usually, we think of a “music-lover” as somebody who loves music but doesn’t actually play an instrument or sing. But to me, everyone is truly a musician and a lover at heart, and it’s just a matter of getting in touch with that innate part of us that loves to flow with life’s natural melody and rhythm.
Do you have anything else to add to the list above, which applies to both musicians and lovers? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this – please comment below!
You can read more about my ideas on life, Love, teaching, and the Alexander Technique here:
On Love and the Alexander Technique
Image courtesy of Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net