We all have periods when we feel more or less alone and more or less unsupported, whether that is objectively true from the outside, or not.
Objectively, I am very well supported from the outside, in every way. I’m incredibly grateful for that, and for the people around me who contribute to that reality: my husband, family, friends, teachers, mentors, colleagues, students, strangers…
Of course, even the earth and the air around me are supporting me at all times. In fact, to me, the world is a very loving, supportive, and friendly place.
But subjectively, the corresponding FEELING of support is not always there. Despite a million reasons to be grateful, the embodied feeling of gratitude, love, joy… is not always there.
You know what I mean?
I bet you do, because I think this experience of feeling alone and unsupported at times (along with the accompanying sensations of suffering, helplessness, compression, constriction, tension, and smallness) is quite universal. It’s an inevitable part of the human experience.
I’m writing about this here because I think we artists can be acutely aware of this sometimes, especially because the objective world does NOT always support our art or the expression of our soul in obvious ways. However, our deep sensitivity and capacity to feel suffering actually serves us, aiding us in the production of our best artistic creations.
In order to find the motivation to continue on as artists, contributing the best of ourselves to the world, it’s so very important for us each to find ways to FEEL supported, from the inside out, so that we are not dependent on what the world outside of us is or isn’t doing for us.
I had a dream in the early morning today (the time when I usually have my most vivid and meaningful dreams). In my dream, I was completely free to be myself in front of a group of people, looking disheveled and feeling upset, unhappy, and half-asleep. My body was limp, heavy, and lifeless. But there were friendly people around me, and one person came along from behind me and lifted up my body from under my back. Lying horizontally in that person’s arms, my back felt completely supported. I felt the arms and the space around me expand as my whole self softened. I could let go and relax so that I felt incredibly peaceful inside. I was full of love and gratitude for this loving support. After awhile, I woke up in a semi-supine position (see Constructive Rest), and my whole being was relaxed, continuing to feel the goodness of what I felt so strongly in my dream.
It WAS all a dream. Although there were people in it, the dream was created entirely by myself, by my imagination, and took place in my subconscious. It was a “real” dream, which carried over into my reality. Somehow, I dreamed up my loving support from within, and that gave me the literal feeling. I was literally carried by my dream, and I intend to let it carry me throughout my day today. It’s interesting to note that I had been awake before the dream (I woke up restless at 4am), and I had been feeling the need for support in a very conscious way. The dream – I – responded to the need I had felt in my waking life.
This is all to emphasize that the keys to our freedom lie within us. We can literally dream up what we wish to experience on the inside, and we can let it support us. And I do believe that semi-conscious daydreams are just as powerful. You don’t actually have to find the support while you’re asleep.
“Who has your back?” Let the answer be: yourself.
I know I will have a better day today because of this dream. I hope these ideas will spill over into your dreams, and into your reality, too, to give extra support and ease to your days.
With love and peace,
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